Bro this was trippy dude! Also stop doing the hypnosis gifs you're scaring me! (Aside but I thought the hopping line was at first about a one legged person and I felt bad for laughing a bit)
I honestly don't know too much of what I just read lol, I had to read it again and maybe part of it's cuz I'm sleepy but, after reading the comments and looking up autolysis, this almost feels like the perspective of a fucking blood cell or somethign lol. This is crazy I've never thought about what it's like to literally be me before like this. Crazy cool stuff Ramona!
I am a sucker for descriptions you can taste, feel, smell, or visualize vividly. Especially the more intuitive those descriptions get, like *glossy* heat. Or the flats *peeling up* into amber mountains. Juxtaposing soft, beautiful imagery (pearl) with more grotesque or mundane imagery (saliva) also makes such an indelible mark on the reader's brain meat. Brilliant job.
This was so good the clinging to the heart like a child at the playground metaphor was perfect the raw big emotion children feel the desperation. The colors in the imagery you portrayed throughout this, pearl saliva hell yess
this is beautiful work, thank you for sharing ramona!!
its always very interesting how much interpretations can deviate from what was "meant" and how little that actually means in the end. For me it felt very close and very real, it felt like an actual experience rather than a metaphor. I had to look up autolysis (because english is in fact not my mother tongue) and it made it all the more real.
It feels like a piece coming to terms with self-destructive and/or self-consuming cycles and the oh so enormous heart that yearns to stay put in those currents that pulls one under again and again and again. willingly stepping in like gently cresting the doorstep of a familiar home. I must sit with this piece for a while but it means a lot already.
tbh I don’t even know what this piece means. it simply blasted through me to share here! I love your insight & thoughts on it. Genuinely, thank you for taking the time to comment such thoughtful ideas !!
Trippy read. Really liked it.
I am genuinely so grateful ! thank u !
You have talent so keep exploring fiction
You are awesome!! 🤩
"Child on the playground
who will not let go.
Who will not go home."
That is the whole grief
of loving something
that cannot hold the weight
of being loved that hard.
— AËLA
Bro this was trippy dude! Also stop doing the hypnosis gifs you're scaring me! (Aside but I thought the hopping line was at first about a one legged person and I felt bad for laughing a bit)
I honestly don't know too much of what I just read lol, I had to read it again and maybe part of it's cuz I'm sleepy but, after reading the comments and looking up autolysis, this almost feels like the perspective of a fucking blood cell or somethign lol. This is crazy I've never thought about what it's like to literally be me before like this. Crazy cool stuff Ramona!
tbh I love this bc it matches how I felt writing it !! Always look forward to your comments
You made drowning some how peaceful, and that's not an easy thing to do.
I also sent you a small idea in your inbox that I think you will personally appreciate. When you have time, you can check it out.
"dusty flats peeling up into amber mountains"
"a sweating cave chasm"
"burrowing like pink worms in dirt"
"pearl saliva"
"the glossy heat"
I am a sucker for descriptions you can taste, feel, smell, or visualize vividly. Especially the more intuitive those descriptions get, like *glossy* heat. Or the flats *peeling up* into amber mountains. Juxtaposing soft, beautiful imagery (pearl) with more grotesque or mundane imagery (saliva) also makes such an indelible mark on the reader's brain meat. Brilliant job.
always so grateful for your reads + amazing thoughts . thank u!!
The intro evoked the mental imagery of a night drive.
This was so good the clinging to the heart like a child at the playground metaphor was perfect the raw big emotion children feel the desperation. The colors in the imagery you portrayed throughout this, pearl saliva hell yess
means so much coming from u !!!
this is beautiful work, thank you for sharing ramona!!
its always very interesting how much interpretations can deviate from what was "meant" and how little that actually means in the end. For me it felt very close and very real, it felt like an actual experience rather than a metaphor. I had to look up autolysis (because english is in fact not my mother tongue) and it made it all the more real.
It feels like a piece coming to terms with self-destructive and/or self-consuming cycles and the oh so enormous heart that yearns to stay put in those currents that pulls one under again and again and again. willingly stepping in like gently cresting the doorstep of a familiar home. I must sit with this piece for a while but it means a lot already.
tbh I don’t even know what this piece means. it simply blasted through me to share here! I love your insight & thoughts on it. Genuinely, thank you for taking the time to comment such thoughtful ideas !!
those are always the best pieces, love how your mind operates!!